I write diaries too, but I also want to write it in the blog, although with anonymous situation.
This happened eight days ago, exactly the first day of the fifth month.
I planned to come over to one of my closest friend's house and then eat lunch together with her brother, my best friend and my best friend's cousin. A total of five persons in party.
Let's say one of my closest friend is my close friend; it's more simple :p
So, I woke up at six fifty in the morning. However, I got sleepy again and slept until I woke up at seven forty-seven AM. I ate breakfast; a whole-wheat roll with Nutella and butter inside. My younger brother and my dad was there. I asked my dad if the driver was able to give me a drive to my close friend's house and he said I should immediately go when he arrives because my dad is going to the airport. My younger wanted to eat nachos for breakfast; my mother had bought a tortilla chips snack yesterday and my brother made the sauce. He made the sauce with a multi-purpose kitchen utensil named Magic Bullet. We saw it on an ad while in Singapore and bought it :p
Anyways, his nachos were totally a bang. Extremely delicious! I say. LOL. After I took a bite the driver arrived so I rushed upstairs to take a bath. That day, I wore my newly-bought Zara simple red sleeveless shirt and my black knee-length pants.
I had prepared two bags yesterday night, but I thought it would be better to bring just one bag, so I only brought one bag and took out some unimportant things. I brought a chocolate for my close friend's brother, my violin, pencil case and a small A5-sized Lyra sketchbook. Because of the bag change, I forgot to bring my violin's shoulder rest; well it didn't affect much though... I didn't play my violin a lot while in her house.
Okay, I'm prepared to go and then I went downstairs. Mom was there, about to drink a glass of water. She said the cleavage of the sleeveless shirt is too big, so I should use something as a cover. I didn't want other people to see too, so I took my gray Zara sweater and tied it pretty loosely on my neck. Success! It covered the cleavage properly.
After that, I took my flat shoes before exiting the house with my purple CR-V. I went at about eight something and arrived at nine twenty if I'm not wrong. The trip took about an hour since it's pretty far.
I arrived near nine thirty and I phoned my close friend, informing that I'm in front of her house now. She told me she hasn't even took a bath, so she told me to go inside. I pushed the bell, and her maid answered. Shortly after my close friend's mom came asking who is it, her maid answered her (my close friend) friend. I said,"Excuse me, auntie," with a smile and then she greeted me back with a smile.
(She isn't my auntie, it's just how we call an adult woman whom we are not too close with)
I entered, and then she called my close friend to inform, and then she told me to go to my close friend's room. I nodded and then went upstairs. I saw my close friend's youngest brother playing the computer but I went immediately to my close friend's room. Inside I found her taking clothes; she told me to stay here for now, cause she's going to take a bath.
I nodded, and then I saw a big chemistry book next to her bed. It looked interesting, so I opened it; and opened Organic Chemistry, the one I'm currently studying.
She came back when I was reading, and if I'm not wrong, she came with her dog. Whenever the dog sees me it usually barks cause I'm still a foreigner here. lol. But it's cute after all.
I can't remember the talks, but my close friend said that her brother hasn't woken up yet, and the ones who are going are only him, her, and me. I was glad. Yes, my close friend's brother is my crush. I liked him since he gave me support back in September 2007, but I realized it on my birthday, when I invited him to my school fest that day. I just felt I want to be close to him all the time, and sometimes seeing him makes my stomach churn.
Then, my close friend woke him up. After that she returned to her room, where I was. Shortly after, someone opened the door. It was her brother, looking dull. Well, he's just up so it's normal. Minutes later, he opened the door again, saying I got here so early. Afterwards, he headed to the bathroom.
I brought my violin so I played a bit. Other than that, I watched Doraemon, played with my close friend's dog and drank YOU-C 1000. While watching Doraemon, my close friend's brother, who had finished bathing entered and gave me a drawing he promised as a birthday gift. When saying thank you, I give friendly hug, both to male and female. As for males, sometimes I may not because I'm not that used to men. But I did that purposely, not by habit, because he's my crush.
He said he watched this episode of Doraemon; Sinbad, he said. Then he saw my poster book which contained Japanese artists. He also likes Japanese music like I do. After that he left the room and played with his laptop.
Before going for lunch, I heard news that my best friend's cousin got an accident, so my best friend may not go for lunch as planned. Nonetheless, we went out shortly after. I left some of my belongings in my close friend's room because I'm going to come back here again after lunch.
Downstairs I was waiting for everyone to get ready. My close friend, her brother, and their mom. Lucky their mom already knew me so the situation wasn't awkward.
He brought a Nintendo DS with him to ease boredom during the journey. He played with it until the battery went out, but that lasted pretty long. Anyways, we got into the car with my close friend as the driver, her mom on the front seat and me with my crush on the back seat. Unfortunately he had his DS so he played with it all the way until the destination.
Our destination was a dim-sum restaurant named Eastern. Back in October 2007 we went here with a party of six; me, my best friend, my close friend and her brothers; one older, who is my crush, and two younger.
At that time they teased me by lying to me that the price for all-you-can-eat per person is two hundred thousand rupiahs. Beforehand I was asked how much did I bring so they put up that number. I totally believed them, and it went to a corner until I let a tear fall down accidentally. I wasn't sad; I was still laughing. I don't know why but well...
So, we ate at Eastern while my close friend's mum is sightseeing. We only ate a little though, because we wanted to go to my best friend's place to check on her cousin. We went to her store, which contained many expensive tables and chairs and benches and etc. We waited for a while, because my best friend and her cousin hasn't arrived yet. We were waiting inside the car, and then my best friend's cousin's brother came to the front, asking us to just go inside. However, my close friend, her brother and their mom chose to stay inside the car, so I stayed too.
Later, their mom told us that she wanted to go home, so we should go down first and then she'll get us later. We agreed so we got down and went inside. My best friend's cousin's brother told us to sit so we sat at a table with about six chairs.
My best friend's little brother and her cousin's little sis are also there. It was silence until my best friend along with the party came; her mother and her cousin. I was only transferring songs from my crush's cellphone to mine and talking to my close friend.
She always makes the situation go wild and I like her lively attitude. Like usual, I am being teased. My crush sometimes laughs when I get teased, and my best friend said when it comes to me, he laughs. *Cough cough* she said. I was only whining.
Some events like my best friend's mother being crazy doesn't need explanation. LOL. At least I remember how it was.
So, my best friend took my crush's cellphone and saw through his gallery. She did something secret to help me find out about him, but she didn't say a word. My close friend asked a random question; what is she doing with her brother's cellphone. My best friend answered she turned off his bluetooth. I did forget to turn off his bluetooth because the cellphone was grabbed from my hand before I finished looking through his music library. I forgot who grabbed though.
All of a sudden, my best friend asked me to get water. I was confused but I complied, so I followed her. Near a bench, she whispered to me that it seems that my crush already has a girl. She said she saw through his inbox secretly and saw those messages. He was the initiative, and there are many messages from her and for her.
I was shocked. When I tried to talk, my tears fell down immediately. I said I was going to go to Taiwan after all, but my tears fell before I finished my sentence. My best friend lent her shoulder and patted my back. I cried on her shoulders. I always thought that I like him and not really like yet, but it seems that these feelings affected me.
I was sad upon hearing the news. My best friend's mother called her, so my best friend came over to her mom and told me to sit on the bench first. My best friend's cousin then went over to me to tease me again, but I turned out to be crying, so he canceled. Instead, he told my close friend that I was crying, and she came over to me.
I was crying, so I can't really explain the situation. When my best friend got back, she explained the situation. She didn't let out too many though, maybe afraid I'll get hurt more. Shortly after, I returned to the table.
I didn't want to see him now. I knew seeing him would make my tears fall down even more. I covered my eyes with my sweater to avoid seeing him, but knowing him most probably he wouldn't know I was crying because of him. I buried my face on the table, but my friends keep trying to make me happier. I'm glad they did that. I love them.
I took out my sketchbook and drew. I draw to express what I'm feeling now, and I drew a sad girl. She doesn't really look like me, but I made the hair quite similar.
Two o'clock past a few minutes, my close friend's mother arrived with her third child (my close friend's younger brother) as driver. Near the time my close friend's mother arrived, my best friend's cousin's brother's daughter came to us. My best friend's cousin said 'balla balla,' and she said it too. My crush laughed.
I didn't want him to care about me now. I wanted my tears to fade first. However, he laughed at a tease for me and I cried again. Why? Why did he care?
He thought I cried because my friends teased me too much, and then thought I cried because of a little kid. Let him think like that. I don't want him to know for now. I knew it'd hurt me, but I didn't want the friendship with him fade because of this.
Nevertheless, I wiped out my tears before exiting. I hugged by best friend before leaving, and then walked to the car. Because my close friend's younger brother is the driver and her mother was on the front seat, the three of us sat on the back seat. My close friend entered first, after that my crush and then me.
My voice became little ever since I cried earlier. I couldn't be hyper for now. I think I asked his DS, has the battery run out or something. He said that he was battling the boss. After that, he played music from his cellphone. It was Utada Hikaru's song, Hear Me Cry.
Why did he have to play that track? I knew he wouldn't be relating the song to my current condition, but some of the lyrics related. I looked at the window and fought back tears, so that he wouldn't see. Anyways, our destination now is a mall; one of the biggest here. He wanted to buy tickets of Iron Man for his friends and him later, and also bought Quicklys for him and his siblings.
So, now my position is in the middle. Still next to him. Well, that was inevitable. After he returned, we headed back to my close friend's house. Near the house, he asked about a Pikachu ring tone. I didn't want his attention now, so I kept quiet. Only after he called my name I answered.
I know he only initiated two or three conversations with me, but before this, he wouldn't initiate a single conversation with me. Deep inside I was still happy for his attention but I didn't want me to cry again, so I didn't want his attention at that time. A sad smile is still plastered on my face. I don't care if he knew or not, but he wouldn't care after all.
Me and my close friend headed straight for her room. The doggy wasn't nearby, so it was quiet. Then my close friend asked me to watch DVD, and I agreed. After looking through her collections, I chose Ju-On. Before starting, her mother called us to eat and we ate.
The others didn't eat; it seemed that they are not hungry. My close friend said that her (older) brother is chatting; and my mind immediately thought, 'Is he chatting with that girl of his?'
It stabbed for a second, but I decided not to think of it.
After we finished eating, we came back to my close friend's room to watch. However, in the end we both got drowsy and then slept. I put an alarm beforehand, so I didn't oversleep. After waking up, I took my things and went down to say goodbye to her mother.
My close friend opened the gate for me, and then I went to my car, who had been waiting since about four something. I found that a comic of my close friend that I borrowed was left, so I called her, but she said to give it back when we meet again, so, I entered my car and went home.
Through the trip, I was silent. Unlike usual. When I arrived home, my face is still sad and mom could read it. I told her that I was heartbroken but, due to my emotional self, once again I couldn't complete my sentence because of tears falling down. My mother hugged me, and told me some advices. She told me to think of this as a lesson.
Later in a restaurant we had dinner, and my mother said my shio doesn't match him. Well, I knew it was pretty much impossible but I wanted to keep loving him, discreetly. At least, before I go.
Ever since that day, I wore my purple hair bow on my left hand. Friends are confused why am I using hair bow on my hand, but to me it has its own meaning. After the heartbreak event, I tied my hair with this hair bow. Although it doesn't always remind me of the sad event, I remember this as something I wore after the event.
This happened eight days ago, exactly the first day of the fifth month.
I planned to come over to one of my closest friend's house and then eat lunch together with her brother, my best friend and my best friend's cousin. A total of five persons in party.
Let's say one of my closest friend is my close friend; it's more simple :p
So, I woke up at six fifty in the morning. However, I got sleepy again and slept until I woke up at seven forty-seven AM. I ate breakfast; a whole-wheat roll with Nutella and butter inside. My younger brother and my dad was there. I asked my dad if the driver was able to give me a drive to my close friend's house and he said I should immediately go when he arrives because my dad is going to the airport. My younger wanted to eat nachos for breakfast; my mother had bought a tortilla chips snack yesterday and my brother made the sauce. He made the sauce with a multi-purpose kitchen utensil named Magic Bullet. We saw it on an ad while in Singapore and bought it :p
Anyways, his nachos were totally a bang. Extremely delicious! I say. LOL. After I took a bite the driver arrived so I rushed upstairs to take a bath. That day, I wore my newly-bought Zara simple red sleeveless shirt and my black knee-length pants.
I had prepared two bags yesterday night, but I thought it would be better to bring just one bag, so I only brought one bag and took out some unimportant things. I brought a chocolate for my close friend's brother, my violin, pencil case and a small A5-sized Lyra sketchbook. Because of the bag change, I forgot to bring my violin's shoulder rest; well it didn't affect much though... I didn't play my violin a lot while in her house.
Okay, I'm prepared to go and then I went downstairs. Mom was there, about to drink a glass of water. She said the cleavage of the sleeveless shirt is too big, so I should use something as a cover. I didn't want other people to see too, so I took my gray Zara sweater and tied it pretty loosely on my neck. Success! It covered the cleavage properly.
After that, I took my flat shoes before exiting the house with my purple CR-V. I went at about eight something and arrived at nine twenty if I'm not wrong. The trip took about an hour since it's pretty far.
I arrived near nine thirty and I phoned my close friend, informing that I'm in front of her house now. She told me she hasn't even took a bath, so she told me to go inside. I pushed the bell, and her maid answered. Shortly after my close friend's mom came asking who is it, her maid answered her (my close friend) friend. I said,"Excuse me, auntie," with a smile and then she greeted me back with a smile.
(She isn't my auntie, it's just how we call an adult woman whom we are not too close with)
I entered, and then she called my close friend to inform, and then she told me to go to my close friend's room. I nodded and then went upstairs. I saw my close friend's youngest brother playing the computer but I went immediately to my close friend's room. Inside I found her taking clothes; she told me to stay here for now, cause she's going to take a bath.
I nodded, and then I saw a big chemistry book next to her bed. It looked interesting, so I opened it; and opened Organic Chemistry, the one I'm currently studying.
She came back when I was reading, and if I'm not wrong, she came with her dog. Whenever the dog sees me it usually barks cause I'm still a foreigner here. lol. But it's cute after all.
I can't remember the talks, but my close friend said that her brother hasn't woken up yet, and the ones who are going are only him, her, and me. I was glad. Yes, my close friend's brother is my crush. I liked him since he gave me support back in September 2007, but I realized it on my birthday, when I invited him to my school fest that day. I just felt I want to be close to him all the time, and sometimes seeing him makes my stomach churn.
Then, my close friend woke him up. After that she returned to her room, where I was. Shortly after, someone opened the door. It was her brother, looking dull. Well, he's just up so it's normal. Minutes later, he opened the door again, saying I got here so early. Afterwards, he headed to the bathroom.
I brought my violin so I played a bit. Other than that, I watched Doraemon, played with my close friend's dog and drank YOU-C 1000. While watching Doraemon, my close friend's brother, who had finished bathing entered and gave me a drawing he promised as a birthday gift. When saying thank you, I give friendly hug, both to male and female. As for males, sometimes I may not because I'm not that used to men. But I did that purposely, not by habit, because he's my crush.
He said he watched this episode of Doraemon; Sinbad, he said. Then he saw my poster book which contained Japanese artists. He also likes Japanese music like I do. After that he left the room and played with his laptop.
Before going for lunch, I heard news that my best friend's cousin got an accident, so my best friend may not go for lunch as planned. Nonetheless, we went out shortly after. I left some of my belongings in my close friend's room because I'm going to come back here again after lunch.
Downstairs I was waiting for everyone to get ready. My close friend, her brother, and their mom. Lucky their mom already knew me so the situation wasn't awkward.
He brought a Nintendo DS with him to ease boredom during the journey. He played with it until the battery went out, but that lasted pretty long. Anyways, we got into the car with my close friend as the driver, her mom on the front seat and me with my crush on the back seat. Unfortunately he had his DS so he played with it all the way until the destination.
Our destination was a dim-sum restaurant named Eastern. Back in October 2007 we went here with a party of six; me, my best friend, my close friend and her brothers; one older, who is my crush, and two younger.
At that time they teased me by lying to me that the price for all-you-can-eat per person is two hundred thousand rupiahs. Beforehand I was asked how much did I bring so they put up that number. I totally believed them, and it went to a corner until I let a tear fall down accidentally. I wasn't sad; I was still laughing. I don't know why but well...
So, we ate at Eastern while my close friend's mum is sightseeing. We only ate a little though, because we wanted to go to my best friend's place to check on her cousin. We went to her store, which contained many expensive tables and chairs and benches and etc. We waited for a while, because my best friend and her cousin hasn't arrived yet. We were waiting inside the car, and then my best friend's cousin's brother came to the front, asking us to just go inside. However, my close friend, her brother and their mom chose to stay inside the car, so I stayed too.
Later, their mom told us that she wanted to go home, so we should go down first and then she'll get us later. We agreed so we got down and went inside. My best friend's cousin's brother told us to sit so we sat at a table with about six chairs.
My best friend's little brother and her cousin's little sis are also there. It was silence until my best friend along with the party came; her mother and her cousin. I was only transferring songs from my crush's cellphone to mine and talking to my close friend.
She always makes the situation go wild and I like her lively attitude. Like usual, I am being teased. My crush sometimes laughs when I get teased, and my best friend said when it comes to me, he laughs. *Cough cough* she said. I was only whining.
Some events like my best friend's mother being crazy doesn't need explanation. LOL. At least I remember how it was.
So, my best friend took my crush's cellphone and saw through his gallery. She did something secret to help me find out about him, but she didn't say a word. My close friend asked a random question; what is she doing with her brother's cellphone. My best friend answered she turned off his bluetooth. I did forget to turn off his bluetooth because the cellphone was grabbed from my hand before I finished looking through his music library. I forgot who grabbed though.
All of a sudden, my best friend asked me to get water. I was confused but I complied, so I followed her. Near a bench, she whispered to me that it seems that my crush already has a girl. She said she saw through his inbox secretly and saw those messages. He was the initiative, and there are many messages from her and for her.
I was shocked. When I tried to talk, my tears fell down immediately. I said I was going to go to Taiwan after all, but my tears fell before I finished my sentence. My best friend lent her shoulder and patted my back. I cried on her shoulders. I always thought that I like him and not really like yet, but it seems that these feelings affected me.
I was sad upon hearing the news. My best friend's mother called her, so my best friend came over to her mom and told me to sit on the bench first. My best friend's cousin then went over to me to tease me again, but I turned out to be crying, so he canceled. Instead, he told my close friend that I was crying, and she came over to me.
I was crying, so I can't really explain the situation. When my best friend got back, she explained the situation. She didn't let out too many though, maybe afraid I'll get hurt more. Shortly after, I returned to the table.
I didn't want to see him now. I knew seeing him would make my tears fall down even more. I covered my eyes with my sweater to avoid seeing him, but knowing him most probably he wouldn't know I was crying because of him. I buried my face on the table, but my friends keep trying to make me happier. I'm glad they did that. I love them.
I took out my sketchbook and drew. I draw to express what I'm feeling now, and I drew a sad girl. She doesn't really look like me, but I made the hair quite similar.
Two o'clock past a few minutes, my close friend's mother arrived with her third child (my close friend's younger brother) as driver. Near the time my close friend's mother arrived, my best friend's cousin's brother's daughter came to us. My best friend's cousin said 'balla balla,' and she said it too. My crush laughed.
I didn't want him to care about me now. I wanted my tears to fade first. However, he laughed at a tease for me and I cried again. Why? Why did he care?
He thought I cried because my friends teased me too much, and then thought I cried because of a little kid. Let him think like that. I don't want him to know for now. I knew it'd hurt me, but I didn't want the friendship with him fade because of this.
Nevertheless, I wiped out my tears before exiting. I hugged by best friend before leaving, and then walked to the car. Because my close friend's younger brother is the driver and her mother was on the front seat, the three of us sat on the back seat. My close friend entered first, after that my crush and then me.
My voice became little ever since I cried earlier. I couldn't be hyper for now. I think I asked his DS, has the battery run out or something. He said that he was battling the boss. After that, he played music from his cellphone. It was Utada Hikaru's song, Hear Me Cry.
Why did he have to play that track? I knew he wouldn't be relating the song to my current condition, but some of the lyrics related. I looked at the window and fought back tears, so that he wouldn't see. Anyways, our destination now is a mall; one of the biggest here. He wanted to buy tickets of Iron Man for his friends and him later, and also bought Quicklys for him and his siblings.
So, now my position is in the middle. Still next to him. Well, that was inevitable. After he returned, we headed back to my close friend's house. Near the house, he asked about a Pikachu ring tone. I didn't want his attention now, so I kept quiet. Only after he called my name I answered.
I know he only initiated two or three conversations with me, but before this, he wouldn't initiate a single conversation with me. Deep inside I was still happy for his attention but I didn't want me to cry again, so I didn't want his attention at that time. A sad smile is still plastered on my face. I don't care if he knew or not, but he wouldn't care after all.
Me and my close friend headed straight for her room. The doggy wasn't nearby, so it was quiet. Then my close friend asked me to watch DVD, and I agreed. After looking through her collections, I chose Ju-On. Before starting, her mother called us to eat and we ate.
The others didn't eat; it seemed that they are not hungry. My close friend said that her (older) brother is chatting; and my mind immediately thought, 'Is he chatting with that girl of his?'
It stabbed for a second, but I decided not to think of it.
After we finished eating, we came back to my close friend's room to watch. However, in the end we both got drowsy and then slept. I put an alarm beforehand, so I didn't oversleep. After waking up, I took my things and went down to say goodbye to her mother.
My close friend opened the gate for me, and then I went to my car, who had been waiting since about four something. I found that a comic of my close friend that I borrowed was left, so I called her, but she said to give it back when we meet again, so, I entered my car and went home.
Through the trip, I was silent. Unlike usual. When I arrived home, my face is still sad and mom could read it. I told her that I was heartbroken but, due to my emotional self, once again I couldn't complete my sentence because of tears falling down. My mother hugged me, and told me some advices. She told me to think of this as a lesson.
Later in a restaurant we had dinner, and my mother said my shio doesn't match him. Well, I knew it was pretty much impossible but I wanted to keep loving him, discreetly. At least, before I go.
Ever since that day, I wore my purple hair bow on my left hand. Friends are confused why am I using hair bow on my hand, but to me it has its own meaning. After the heartbreak event, I tied my hair with this hair bow. Although it doesn't always remind me of the sad event, I remember this as something I wore after the event.
